Car Insurance Humour

How do you explain with a drawing that your vehicle has been stolen ?

A regular visitor to the Arrive Alive website shared the above snippet from an accident report form. A vehicle owner tried to explain on an accident report form at the Police how his car had been stolen! This should bring a smile to the faces of many vehicle owners!

Wishing all road users a safe , blessed and enjoyable week!

Should car insurance cover damage from marital disputes?

We often find on the internet  photos of damage to vehicles caused by unhappy spouses as ” revenge attacks” against cheating husbands! Sometimes this can be rather funny and does not even have to relate to cheating behaviour but can be the result of mere unhappiness..!

A visitor to the Arrive Alive website emailed a rather funny story of vehicle damage which we would like to share:

From Him
Hi Sweety,

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.

Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the golf course. Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I’ll be home later. Love you……


Her response –
Hi Honey,

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don’t often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on.

Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you and now I am off to the mall. I love you too!

The Traffic Officer who came well prepared to Traffic Court

A police motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The ‘violator’ for his signature. The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an arsehole!”

Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record and he has a heap of demerits and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the defence lawyer asks; “Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”

Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”

Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”

“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”

“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”

“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”

“Aggressive and hostile?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for arsehole?”

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”

[How often can one get a solicitor to convict his own client?]

Sometimes it is best to explain nicely where your home address is!

Fuckhoff street

When communicating and doing business on the telephone it is sometimes difficult to hear exactly what the other person is saying. We sometimes need to explain ourselves slowly and clearly to avoid confusion.

Sometimes we might also need to be careful so as to avoid agitation.. Can you imagine talking to your insurer or other sales consultant, answering questions and telling them that you live in “Fuckhoff street”?

Photos reveal how vehicle recovery should not be done!

Have you ever been frustrated with vehicle recovery after an accident. Perhaps you should spare a thought for someone who have have suffered a bit more at witnessing the recovery of his vehicle!

This really happened

Your day must look pretty good after seeing this!

‘I could have sworn I hit the brake pedal!’
Car upside down in the bay – see the guy standing on it? Call out the Crane Truck!
SnipImage Coming back up..coming…coming
Coming…almost there!

‘I could have sworn I set the brakes on that truck !’

Time to get a Bigger Truck!

‘Ok, we got the car…let’s get the other Truck now!’


Also view:

Vehicle Recovery and Road Safety

If you get fined for just driving it simply is not your day!


Can you be fined for just driving your car? This was the rather strange wording of “Drove motor vehicle while driving” which was written on the traffic fine of a Bloemfontein man!

We could not resist letting this day pass without some Friday humour and it is our pleasure to share this rather strange traffic fine with visitors to the Car Insurance Blog!

Disregard for the law contributing to many road crashes!!


No Number Plates

It was Hellen Zille who said that those who tend not to obey the Rules of the Road might also be less law abiding in other areas as well! This further justifies the need for increased traffic enforcement to arrest those transporting drugs , arms etc.

I could not resist sharing this pic of a motorcyclist driving without number plates! These transgressions of the Rules of the Road might be deemed as small offences, but the transgressors might also be speeding, skipping traffic lights and endangering the lives of not only their passengers but also other road users!

For motorcycle safety and riding pillion also view:

Motorbike Safety and Children as Pillion

For Motorbike Safety, we would like to urge all our bikers to view the following sections:

For more information about how much it will cost to insure a motorbike, call MiWay today on 0860 200 55 8 or visit

Where is the fun in parking tickets?


A visitor to the Arrive Alive website thought we might need to bring some fun to the issuing of parking tickets! The sample provided asks the question – “Do you feel lucky?”

On a more serious note – There is a reason why parking is prohibited in specific areas. Parking fines are not meant to be a money making initiative – but should also be punishment for parking at places where such parking could be a threat to the safety of others. This is especially true where parking might delay or prevent the emergency services from performing their life saving activities!

Also view:

  1. What do car insurers regard as secured parking?
  2. Parking with caution can prevent vehicle theft
  3. What does the law say about ‘Storing’ vehicles by parking on a public road
  4. Car Insurer finds women fear parallel parking!

Wear clean underwear in the event that your vehicle breaks down!!

did_you_knowAlways wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Leicester couple who drove their car to ASDA, only to have their car break down in the car park.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under
the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by watching.

The AA mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Also view:

Vehicle Recovery and Road Safety

The taxi driver and the short journey

Three men were very drunk and they stopped a taxi…..the taxi driver figured that they were not in their right minds……so, he just switched on the engine for a few minutes and switched it off and told them : “we have arrived”……

The first man gave him money…..the second one thanked him…..but the third one….slapped the taxi driver…..

The taxi driver thought to himself that the third man must realized that the taxi didn’t move an inch…, he asked the third man : “what was that for?”

The third man replied: “control your speed next time……you almost killed us…..”