Posts tagged ‘humour’

Things not to say to traffic cops when pulled over!!

A regular visitor to the Arrive Alive website emailed an video about what you should rather not express to traffic cops when you are pulled over. This appeared on the FHM website, and we would like to quote:

“It’s silly season here in SA and that means the cops are suddenly in full effect all over our highways and byways, looking to quickly fill their fine quotas before they head off on their annual holidays. Any self respecting FHM reader should have, by now, figured out their patter to placate the cops to keep the fines and jail time to a minimum. But for those of you who still haven’t figured out how to chin wag your way out of trouble with the boys in blue, here’s a list of things you should NEVER say…”

We would like to urge all road users to respect our traffic officers and to stay on the safe side of the law!! Too many road accidents are caused by drivers not abiding by the Rules of the Road!

Also view:

It should never be Road User versus Traffic Officer

Funniest comments made by Police Officers / Traffic Officials

Metro police 2 HI-RESThese are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the USA:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” (National Crime Information Center)

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”


16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.. Sign here.”

Which star signs have the best and the worst drivers?

star-signsDo you believe in star signs and how people born under specific star signs reflect specific personality traits? I am not a great believer in star signs but will admit to displaying a few characteristics of the Capricorn sign – the sign for my birthday on the 11th of January!

But can we take this further and investigate whether the star signs can guide us to predict driving behaviour – or even tell us which star signs have the best and worst drivers?

Research from Insurance companies

I have found fascinating results from a survey by Suncorp Metway, Ltd., a multi-faceted Australian Financial Service company. This company ranked car accident claimants by their star sign in a study of 160,000 accident claims over a three-year period.

This study, released in 2002, was carried out as part of Suncorp’s annual review of claims. “We always look for trends in claims to see if there are ways to reduce our pricing, but there is no intention to introduce astrology as a rating factor for motor insurance,” explained Warren Duke, Suncorp’s national manager of personal insurance.

It is always hard to disagree with the facts – and this is what they found:

Worst driver by star sign

  1. Gemini May 21-June 21
  2. Taurus April 20-May 20
  3. Pisces February 19-March 20
  4. Virgo August 23-September 22
  5. Cancer June 22-July 22
  6. Aquarius January 20-February 18
  7. Aries March 21-April 19
  8. Leo July 23-August 22
  9. Libra, September 23-October 22
  10. Sagittarius November 22-December 21
  11. Scorpio October 23-November 21
  12. And the safest driver is Capricorn December 22-January 19

How do the personality traits of persons with these star signs explain their driving?

Worst drivers
The worst drivers – Geminis – are “typically described as restless, easily bored and frustrated by things moving slowly,” explained Warren Duke, Suncorp’s national manager of personal insurance. “They had more car accidents than any other sign.”

Second and third place holders for this dubious honor are Taurus and Pisces. “Taureans were thought to be obstinate and inflexible, “said Duke,” while Pisceans could be risk-takers and daredevils.”

Interpretation of these findings by astrologers

Astrologers have also shared their opinion and provided some interesting explanations:

Taurus can be obstinate and inflexible, but they are also the most introverted and self-absorbed of all the signs. At a very fundamental level, the world outside the chassis of their car may not exist at all. Since freeway driving requires spatial perception and processing of much abstract information (speed, flow and distance), this is counter to their natural way of processing the world around them.

Pisces, in the number three position, is the other sign that lives in a world of its own. Duke describes them as potential risk takers and daredevils. Pisces are the gentle dreamers of the zodiac. They may spend many hours a day in fantasy worlds, escaping the painful realities of life on the physical plane and, more often than not, the pain of being in a physical body. They often experience the whole manifest world as an illusion and their presence in it as temporary and of little importance.

This Pisces detachment from the physical can lead to unconscious feelings of invulnerability or invincibility, also to unconscious feelings of victimization and sacrifice. If you are momentarily deluded into thinking you don’t have physical limits, and that your life is but a fleeting moment in the eternal life of the soul, you can respond to situations of physical danger in illogical ways. Or, at the very least, be slow on the uptake.

The Best Drivers

They came last on the list of accident claimants and are typically described as patient and careful. It’s no surprise Capricorns are the safest behind the wheel. They’re the safest at everything! Their patience and sense of responsibility are legendary.

Sagittarians may stay safe in their cars the same way they do in life, by having superbly developed higher minds. Another name for this mind is intuition. The highly developed sense of flow and good timing characteristic of Sagittarians is what makes them the lucky sign. Furthermore, their minds are right at home dealing with traffic patterns, flow and spatial relations.

Scorpios may stay safe because they are intimately involved with the inner lives of others in the same way their opposite sign Taurus is defended against this information. Scorpios are sensitive to energy— whether it is a foot away or thousands of miles away—and can feel someone “coming up from behind” at many different levels. That’s why we always feel like they can see right through us. They can.

Scorpios would be the drivers who would instinctively “wake up” in time to let a cocaine addict pass them at 95 or give a wide berth to a passive aggressive soccer mom hassling two kids in the back seat and a phone conversation with her husband all at the same time.

[Comments on the star signs by Nancy R. Fenn, a fulltime professional astrologer for more than 25 years]

What are the effects of your star sign on your car insurance premiums?

Vehicle owners need not worry that their start sign will make their insurance premiums more expensive. If you, your spouse or colleague is a Gemini, Taurus or Pisces –now might be the time to check on your car insurance policy. It might – on average- be more important to have good car insurance!!

Car Insurance because you love your car

love-your-carOn the Car Insurance Blog we have written several posts on why it is necessary to have car insurance. We can be technical and provide statistics on vehicle damage and loss and focus on the financial harm to be suffered if there is no insurance. It has not been difficult to find reasons to purchase car insurance. We have referred to road safety and accident statistics in South Africa…we have also referred to potholes, damage from road construction and crimes such as hijacking smash –and-grab etc…

But perhaps we are neglecting one of the most important factors why people search for car insurance – they love their cars and would like to protect their cars! For many vehicle owners a car is more than just a mode of transport – it is the love of their lives!!

Car Insurance is simply a MUST for those who love their cars! If you love your car, it is well worth the effort to find the very best car insurance to protect the love of your life!

You reported the car stolen…but is it?

Is your car stolen?

Is your car stolen?

Sometimes we can just smile at hearing and reading stories about the mistakes we make. When this deals with the topic of car insurance we fear that insurance fraud would be the underlying theme…but what if there was indeed an honest mistake?

Associated Press reveals one such story from Germany. An Audi sedan written off by an elderly German woman as stolen two years ago has resurfaced – in her neighbour’s garage beneath a thick layer of dust.

Police said on Thursday the 82-year-old from the northern city of Hildesheim took the car in for repairs two years ago and had the mechanics drive it back to her house and park it in her garage.

She got the keys and papers from her mailbox, but when she went to get the car it was nowhere to be found. So she reported it stolen.

Fast forward to Wednesday when her neighbour went to clean up his unused garage so it could be rented. He found the car under “a centimetre-deep coating of dust.”

It didn’t take police long to piece together that the mechanics had parked it in the wrong garage.

It is not known what the response from the insurer has been..!
[Story from Associated Press]